And the change has begun....

Though my creation is in process I am starting to see the masterpiece take shape.  This has been a very exciting week with several triumphs.

It started with noticing how baggy my clothes were getting.  So on Saturday I tried on a lot of clothes and found I could purge myself of almost half my wardrobe.  The other half were just clothes I never got rid of as I gained weight in hopes that I would lose weight and fit into them.  Many of these smaller clothes still had tags on them and had never been worn.  I spent half of the day cleaning and organizing my closets, drawers, and getting clothes ready to sell on Craigslist and take to consignment.  To be honest in the beginning it was really hard.  I had some clothes that I loved and did not want to get rid of "just in case".  When you've been overweight most of your life and you've lost and gained a thousand times before, you learn to hold on to the fat clothes because you know you'll be needing them again.  So I NEVER got rid of clothes.  I have clothes that are size 14 to size 28 in my wardrobe.  But I knew this time was different.  I pushed my fear aside and made preparations to rid myself of all the clothes that are too large now. 

The next small triumph came in realizing all my pants were too large.  When I went grocery shopping I decided to buy 2 pairs of pants.  I don't want to buy more because I know it will be just a short time before those are too large as well.  I went from a size 28 pant to a size 22 and these 22's are already loose.

On Tuesday I had a lovely surprise.  My dear friend Katy and her 3 wonderful boys who I took care of most of their lives brought me a gorgeous bouquet for my birthday.  Not only did they send the flowers but they arrived in person and we were able to take some pictures together. The 2 oldest boys, Jacob and Jonathan are embarking on a new phase of their lives; college.  It was so wonderful to have them show appreciation to me.  I am very blessed to have this lovely family in my life!  I wish only the best for the boys!

On Wednesday I saw my physical therapist.  It was very exciting to have her measure me and with just the measurements she had taken I had lost over 38 inches.  Because she hadn't measured the bust and the neck I know that amount is a lot higher.  7 inches alone were on my waist!  The title of my blog is very appropriate... I am shrinking!

I had a fantastic experience the other day.  We have a sliding door that has a pet door inserted into it.  Since the pet door takes almost half of the opening it's always been that I was too fat to fit through this door.  For me to get to the deck I had to go through the back door in the kitchen.  Well one of my daycare boys needed his nose wiped and I decided to just see.  I turned sideways and voila!  I was through.  When Ron came home I was so excited I told him I had a magic trick to show him.  I told him to close his eyes.  When he did, I slid through the door and said, "Now open them".  He was so cute, he was like, "How did you do that"?  What an amazing confirmation that all this hard work was really paying off!

Friday is my 48th birthday.  Most every other year my birthday week was spent eating because I'd receive the "birthday coupons" from my favorite restaurants for "buy one get one free", or big money off my dinner.  We'd spend the entire week eating at all the restaurants and using the savings.  Well this year, I just looked at them and smiled.  I don't have the desire to eat at these restaurants no matter how good the deal is.  Another small triumph indeed!  Instead of eating out we are going to take the trailer to the beach and camp for the weekend.  We will try to take some hikes and enjoy the ocean.  The weather is incredible and it will make for a wonderful weekend.

Here is this week's picture.  I have lost more since this was taken but I'll save that for next week's blog.  The picture was taken on September 23rd, 2012 and I weigh-in at 264 pounds. The suit I'm wearing was one of those finds in the back of my closet.  I bought it about 4 years ago and it still had the tags on it but I was never able to wear it, in fact not even close.  I received tons of compliments about the outfit and how good I looked at church.  I even had 2 people tell me it was almost too big already.  Yay!

For those of you who read my blog weekly and those of you who give me encouragement through words, I want to thank you so much.  You are helping me more than you will ever realize!  I love you all!!!!

Almost Normal... Week 7

“Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be.” — Marsha Petrie Sue

This week has been full of firsts when it comes to my new way of eating.  I am on a regimen that pretty much should be the way I choose to eat the rest of my life.  It's been interesting discovering my new "norm".  I've tried to branch out and taste new foods and old things that I haven't eaten in months.  It's funny how some of the old favorites that have really fond memories in my mind just don't taste as good as I remember.  Last night Ron got a Blizzard from Dairy Queen.  They were buy one get one for 99 cents.  These used to be my all-time favorite sinful indulgence.  I just wanted to taste it because as I've been finding out this week, it sometimes only takes a taste to put those cravings firmly in the past.  I also knew it wouldn't get wasted with Ian living at home.  So after I had 2 very small bites I realized this is one that just didn't taste the way I remember.  It was sickly sweet, almost revolting to me.  I have no desire to have one again in the near future.  What a wonderful feeling!  It's like purging and getting rid of so many demons.  Sugar just doesn't taste that good anymore. 

Another fun thing I've been doing is actually working out to a pre-programmed workout on my treadmill.  The workout programs on my particular model are actually pretty challenging.  Even Ron found them to be a good workout and he doesn't have much difficulties when it comes to exercise.  I'd been doing good on my normal workout, I had even added a bit of interval training, so I decided it was time to step it up.  I was able to complete the first program all the way through as programmed with the exception of speed.  I just can't go that fast yet as I have short legs.  My stride is small and my legs have to do almost double time to a normal person.  So when it sped up to 3.5 I just slowed it down to 2.8 but I kept it at the same incline.  The inclines got up to 7 and stayed the majority of time in the 5 range.  My calves are definitely feeling the burn.  I'm so proud of myself for completing this all the way through with minor modifications.  Hopefully as more weight comes off I will be able to walk at the programmed speed.

This weekend Ron and I stayed at the Nines Hotel in downtown Portland.  What a beautiful hotel that is.  Saturday we went to their restaurant called The Urban Farmer and had food from their Happy Hour.  We sampled all kinds of delicious food.  Being able to look at their menu and try to decipher what I felt would be healthy and kind to my stomach took a little skill but I think we got the job done.  It was awesome to take just a few bites but still get fully satisfied.  I try to take the time to taste the flavors and textures and really enjoy the food.

Later Saturday evening Ian picked me up from the hotel and we went to The Keller Center and watched Memphis.  To be honest I was not expecting much from this show and in fact the reason Ian went with me was because Ron decided he didn't want to go.  We have season tickets and I thought Ian might enjoy experiencing his first off-Broadway production and boy was I right.  I think many others felt they wouldn't enjoy this show either and the place had a lot of empty seats.  Our season tickets are for the 2nd balcony because that's the cheap seats and you can see just fine at Keller up there.  But when we saw there were a lot of expensive seats available still I asked one of the ushers if we could move forward.  He told me we weren't having this conversation but just walk up and if someone asks to help you tell them you know where you're going.  Ian picked a row of seats about 20 rows back from front center.  I was so nervous watching people come in because I'd be mortified for someone to say, "Excuse me, you're in our seats".  LOL  But the extraordinary thing was, not one person sat in that row the entire night.  It was the only row with completely empty seats.  So we got a very good seat and really enjoyed the show.  Memphis was actually a fantastic show with some of the best singers all season.  I loved every moment of it and didn't want it to end.  Ian was all smiles and I treasure the opportunity to spend that enjoyable evening with my youngest child.

So week 7 has been a week of error and trial with quite a few huge successes when it comes to eating.  One thing that may be a blessing or curse is the fact that nothing has made me nauseous or sick so far.  I've pretty much been able to eat everything I've tried as long as I take the time to chew it to mush.  I have found that I do get hungry now and the thing I seem to crave most is savory proteins.  Mexican has been on the top of my list.  Eating fajitas and refried beans was one of my favorite meals last week.  Yummy!  I'm hoping to start cooking a bit more as time permits and exploring that avenue as well.  I'm down a total of 63 pounds from my high and 25 since surgery.  YAY!

I found a few more before pictures.  These were both taken 2 years ago since both of these grandbabies turned two the last few months.

This is a 5 generation photo taken at Brooklyn's blessing.  My daughter Ashley, my father Gerald, my grandmother Gladys, me, and baby Brooklyn.

This was taken the day of Davin's birth, August 21, 2010.  Ashley, Brooklyn, Davin, Jon, and me in the rear.  Of course I was trying to hide and really not wanting my picture taken.

September 16th, 2012  268 pounds  (down 62)

Week 6, Monday September 10, 2012

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.   Aristotle

Today I weighed in at half a pound from being down 60 pounds.  Who would ever imagine that I could accomplish that and still be going strong?  And to put the icing on the cake is the way I feel.  I truly feel like a new person.  I try to visualize how I’ll feel when I am down 75, 100, 150.  It almost seem unfathomable but yet I KNOW I will make it. 

This weekend Ron and I went up to Detroit Lake.  We bought my dad’s old travel trailer and decided it’s time to take it out and use it.  We haven’t been able to take a real vacation this summer because of the surgery.  So in the month of September we’re going to take several mini-vacations. 

On this camping trip I was noticing how much energy I had.  I’m the one that totally got the trailer loaded and brought things from the attic, basement, up and down stairs, in and out of the trailer, carrying heavy things.  I was amazing.  The difference was so noticeable that the second day of our trip even Ron commented that I really had a lot more energy and moved better.  I am so pleased with the progression I’m seeing.

One of the daily activities we’ve been trying to do is a good walk.  During our stay at Detroit Lake Ron and I walked all the different camping roads.  One of the park rangers talked to us and she said she uses a golf cart because they had 6 miles of paved roads in the campground. So we were able to walk a good distance and it felt good.

I’m trying to add a few more calories.  It’s not easy because I can only consume such a small amount at a time.  When you add in all the sipping of water it seems there’s just not enough time in the day to get it all in. 

Yesterday was my 6 week mark from surgery.  I’m down 22 pounds from the day of surgery and even more importantly it marks the day that I get to eat normal food now.  Of course I still have to make wise choices like low-fat, no sugar, little white bread, white rice, etc.  But now I’m not really restricted.  And one of the best things yet, I don’t have to take my gross pills sprinkled on yogurt.  It left such a bitter taste in my mouth.  So now I’m a big girl once again and able to swallow my pills.  I know this sounds like such a small thing but it was really scary the first couple of times.  They feel like they get stuck.  But I was successful and the bitter taste was gone and I’m very happy.

Here is a picture that Ron took Monday, September 10, 2012.  In the first picture I was being very silly and pretending to do some strange modeling poses and he caught me while I was cracking up.  The second is shortly after the first when he told me to change my shirt because the camera is shining on my breasts and he didn’t care for that.  LOL  I’ve lost so much boobs already that I’m not ashamed to flaunt what I have left.  :D

                                                                     
                                                           Monday September 10, 2012

My new journey...

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.
Samuel Smiles

 

As I watched the sun set on the Oregon Coast I couldn't help but reflect on my new journey and how the sun was setting on a chapter of my life only to rise again, breaking dawn on a new.  I decided to record my journey not for others, but for myself.  I want to jot down my thoughts, feelings, and even challenges along the way.

Around my last birthday (turning 47) I realized enough was enough with being overweight.  I couldn't tie my shoes without finding a place to raise my foot and even then my shoelace would be crooked and not centered.  If I got down on the floor I had to become a contortionist to get back up again.  I was tired all the time.  I think I even got to the point where food was just blah.  Yes, I loved tastes but after you've eaten most everything and eating out on a consistent basis, even your favorites don't sound good anymore.  I have tried and been slightly successful on many diets.  (Successful for a short time).  But the old habits always seemed to creep back in.  I've never been a huge eater, I've just been a bad eater and throw in being mostly sedentary it just means more pounds.

So my journey began in September of 2011.  I decided I'd contact the Salem Baratric Center.  I was excited and ready to go.  But then life threw in curve balls.  To be able to qualify for the surgery one must lose 5% of their weight.  I was hoping to get laproscopic which meant not only losing the initial 5% but another 20 pounds on top of that.  I honestly thought this would be a piece of cake.  But then I noticed strange things going on with my body.  I had started menopause.  With the beginning of this meant my body truly did not want to let go of the weight.  I was exercising, watching what I ate, and I couldn't lose weight.  So finally in June of 2012 I went back to the center and told them my problem.  I asked them if I could switch to having the open gastric bypass.  They agreed and then I only needed to lose 5%.  I had to cut my caloric intake severely, but it worked, I was able to get my 5% off before my surgery.

On the morning of July 30th, 2012 I arrived at the Salem Hospital Surgery Center.  With my husband Ron by my side I was ready to start this new chapter.  The moment I awoke from anesthesia I was in so much pain.  I didn't really remember why I was in the hospital or why I was hurting.  When the memory of surgery came back to me I thought, why in the world did I choose to do this.  I couldn't breathe and all my organs had a deep aching pain that I can't even describe.  But I was able to bounce back and recovered better than anyone could have anticipated.  At the hospital the nurses were calling me the "over achiever".  When they said to get up and walk I walked 5/8ths of a mile.  The next day I walked 7/8ths.  I weaned myself off the pain meds and managed pain by moving. 

I have to take a moment and thank my loving husband.  He stayed with me the entire 4 days in the hospital.  He did not leave to shower, he slept next to me.  He only left to even eat if I had company or I was on the phone.  When they moved me half way through my stay, there was not room for a bed for him.  He told the nurses if they couldn't fit a bed in the room he would sleep on the floor but he was not leaving me.  And he meant it!  When we got home he lovingly emptied my drains and cared for my incision.  He helped me in and out of the recliner I had to sleep in.  He truly was and is my rock and the best support I could ask for.

I am now one month out from surgery.  I have lost 19 pounds from the date of surgery and 57 pounds from my high weight.  Three days ago I just broke a two and a half week stall.  It was so frustrating to know I was doing everything right and yet could not budge the scale.  But after it broke I lost 4 pounds in three days.  So I am happy again.

Again, this blog is not to be narcissistic or even for others really.  This blog is a journal of my journey to a new, healthier me.  I don't mind others following as I can use all the cheerleaders I can get.  If this blog  inspires others along the way, that is an added bonus.  Thank you to all my family and friends who have been supportive so far.  I couldn't have done it without you all.

Here are some photos of my journey so far.

T

This family photo was taken in December of 2010.  This is my high weight of 330 pounds.

July 15th, 2012, 305 pounds

July 22nd, 2012, 297 pounds

July 29, 2012, 293 pounds

August 6th, 2012, one week after surgery and no make-up.  290 pounds

August 12, 2012, 281 pounds

July 26th, 2012, 277 pounds

September 2, 2012, 273 pounds